Crimson_Fox
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Crimson_Fox" journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
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07:35 pm
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Right Where It Belongs
This song is close to me.
NIN - Right Where It Belongs
See the animal in his cage that you built,
Are you sure what side you're on?
Better not look him too closely in the eye,
Are you sure what side of the glass you are on?
See the safety of the life you have built,
Everything where it belongs
Feel the hollowness inside of your heart,
And it's all... right where it belongs
What if everything around you,
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know,
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection,
Is it all you want it to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks,
Would you find yourself... find yourself afraid to see?
What if all the world's inside of your head?
Just creations of your own
Your devils and your gods all the living and the dead
And you're really all alone
You can live in this illusion,
You can choose to believe.
You keep looking but you can't find the woods,
While you're hiding in the trees
What if everything around you,
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you used to know,
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection,
Is that all you want to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks,
Would you find yourself... find yourself afraid to see?
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11:27 am
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Sam's Town
Of the things I enjoy about music, one of my favorites is enjoying a new song when you least expect it. This was the case with Sam's Town by The Killers. The surprise was not in the author of the album (I really enjoy their music), but because I had not listened to this album until recently. While I have a wide range in regards to the genres of music I try, I am very selective in regards to individual songs. As such, it is rare for me to like so many songs in a particular album. In Sam's Town, not only did I enjoy most of the songs, but I hadn't heard of any of them until I picked up the album.
I suppose that's the draw back of not listening to the radio. Even then, I don't feel it's worth sorting through the advertisements and musical junk to get to the occasional good song.
Here are a few of the songs I like in Sam's Town:
When You Were Young
You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch him now, here he comes
He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined when you were young
Can we climb this mountain, I don’t know
Higher now than ever before, I
Know we can make it if we take it slow
That's thinking easy, easy now, watch it go
We’re burning down the highway skyline on the
Back of a hurricane that started turning
When you were young
When you were young
And sometimes you close your eyes
And see the place where you used to live
When you were young
They say the devil's water, it ain’t so sweet
You don’t have to drink right now
But you can dip your feet
Every once in a little while
You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch him now, here he comes
He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined when you were young
(Talks like a gentleman, like you imagine)
When you were young
I said he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus
He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus
But more than you’ll ever know
For Reasons Unknown
I pack my case, I check my face
I look a little bit older
I look a little bit colder
With one deep breath, and one big step
I move a little bit closer, I move a little bit closer
For reasons unknown..
I caught my stride, I flew and flied
I know if destiny's kind, I've got the rest on my mind
Well my heart, it don't beat, it don't beat the way it used to
And my eyes, they don't see you no more
And my lips, they don't kiss, they don't kiss the way they used to
And my eyes don't recognize you no more
For reasons unknown
For reasons unknown
It was an open chair
We sat down in, the open chair
I said if destiny's kind, I've got the rest on my mind
But my heart, it don't beat, it don't beat the way it used to
And my eyes, they don't see you no more
And my lips, they don't kiss, they don't kiss the way they used to
And my eyes don't recognize you at all
For reasons unknown
For reasons unknown
I said my heart, it don't beat, it don't beat the way it used to
And my eyes, don't recognize you no more
And my lips, they don't kiss, they don't kiss the way they used to
And my eyes don't recognize you no more
For reasons unknown
For reasons unknown
For reasons unknown
For reasons unknown
This River Is Wild
Leaves are falling down
On the beautiful ground
I heard a story from the man in red
He said the leaves are falling down
Such a beautiful sound so I think you
Son, I think you better go ahead
But you always hold your head up high
Cause it's a long, long, long way down
This town was meant for passing through
But it ain't nothing new
Now go and show them
That the world stayed round
But it's a long, long, long way down
You better run for the hills before they burn
Listen to the sound of the world
And watch it turn
I just want to show you what I know
And catch you when the current lets you go
Or should I just get along with myself
I never did get along with everybody else
I've been trying hard to do what's right
But you know I could stay here all night
And watch the clouds fall from the sky
This river is wild
This river is wild
Run for the hills before they burn
Listen to the sound of the world
Watch it turn
But shake a little
Sometimes I'm nervous when I talk
I shake a little
Sometimes i hate the line I walk
I just want to show you what I know
And catch you when the current lets you go
Or should I just get along with myself
I never did get along with everybody else
Ive been trying hard to do whats right
But you know I could stay here all night
And watch the clouds fall
From the sky
Because this river is wild
God speed you boy
This river is wild
Now Adam's taking bombs
And he's stuck on his mom
Because that bitch
Keeps trying to make him pray
He's with the hippie in the park
Coming over the dark
Just trying to get some of that little girl play
You better run for the hills before they burn
Listen to the sound of the world
But watch it turn
I just want to show you what I know
And catch you when the current lets you go
Or should I get along with myself
I never did get along with everybody else
I've been trying hard to do whats right
But you know I could stay here all night
And watch the clouds fall from the sky
And pay this hell in me tonight
Because this river is wild
God speed you boy
This river is wild
God speed you boy
This river is wild
Now the cards are everywhere face in dust
The fairground
I don't think I ever seen so many headlights
But there's something pulling me
The circus and the crew
Well they're just passing through
Making sure the merry still goes round
But it's a long, long, long way down
Read My Mind
On the corner of main street
Just tryin' to keep it in line
You say you wanna move on and
You say I'm falling behind
Can you read my mind?
Can you read my mind?
I never really gave up on
Breakin' out of this two-star town
I got the green light
I got a little fight
I'm gonna turn this thing around
Can you read my mind?
Can you read my mind?
The good old days, the honest man
The restless heart, the Promised Land
A subtle kiss that no one sees
A broken wrist and a big trapeze
Oh well I don't mind, if you don't mind
'Cause I don't shine if you don't shine
Before you go, can you read my mind?
It’s funny how you just break down
Waiting on some sign
I pull up to the front of your driveway
With magic soaking my spine
Can you read my mind?
Can you read my mind?
The teenage queen, the loaded gun
The drop dead dream, the Chosen One
A southern drawl, the world unseen
A city wall and a trampoline
Oh well I don't mind if you don't mind
'Cause I don't shine if you don't shine
Before you jump,
Tell me what you find..
When you read my mind
Slipping in my faith until I fall
You never returned that call
Woman, open the door, don't let it sting
I wanna breathe that fire again
She said I don't mind if you don't mind
'Cause I don't shine if you don't shine
Put your back on me
Put your back on me
Put your back on me
The stars are blazing like rebel diamonds, cut out of the sun
Can you read my mind
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10:23 am
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Pythagorean Theorem
If we had shows like these as kids maybe public education wouldn't be in such a mess today:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=_RVDQAT5zWQ
http://youtube.com/watch?v=3a8V5Ute3wg
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12:07 am
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Dragoncon '07 and Furries
Friend sent me this link, got a good laugh out of it. I figured I'd share:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zB_1SK0I_sM
I find it funny how CSI is now the authority on the furry fandom. =D
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11:11 pm
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Indian Thriller
I don't know how anyone could argue that globalization is a good thing after watching this.
Props to whoever showed me this at Califur.
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06:35 pm
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Califur 07
You know you've had entirely too much fun when there's a video of it on YouTube.
I got to mess with Glen (the artshow director and auctioneer) at the art auction again this year. I'm pretty certain that I have the dubious distinction of being the only person to bid against himself at a furry art auction because of it. =D He's a good sport about it which makes it fun to play into his banter.
Had good food, great company, and got to play some chess and hacky sack. For more details check out this great post by ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) thornwolf.
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02:18 am
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Red Riding Hood
http://dagobah.biz/flash/Red_Riding_Hood.swf
A friend showed me this about a week ago. A pretty dark version of "Little Red Riding Hood".
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11:32 pm
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Heathen Chemistry
Funny how music can bring back memories that have been so long forgotten. This song reminded of a story I have read back in the dawn of teh intarweb. It was a mystical time when BBSes still roamed the land and men with 9600 baud modems were gods.
Ok, maybe not that far back but still a pretty damn long time ago.
Anyhow... The story was about a dragon rider and how he and his dragon had fallen in love with each other. I'm not sure why I made a connection with that story, but I feel it fits in an odd way. You be the judge:
Songbird - Oasis
Heathen Chemistry
...three, four
Talkin to the songbird yesterday
Flew me to a place not far away
She's a little pilot in my mind
Singin songs of love to pass the time
Gonna write a song so she can see
Give her all the love she gives to me
Talk of better days that have yet to come
Never felt this love from anyone
She's not anyone
She's not anyone
She's not anyone
A man can never dream these kind of things
Especially when she came and spread her wings
Whisper in my ear the things I'd like
Then she flew away into the night
Gonna write a song so she can see
Give her all the love she gives to me
Talk of better days that have yet to come
Never felt this love from anyone
She's not anyone
She's not anyone
She's not anyone
Surprisingly, I found the story at an archive. It's not particularly well written (or punctuated for that matter), but it still stirs some nostalgic memories.
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12:01 am
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The First Night of the Rest of My Life
I just turned one year older, there's nothing particularly special about that. I am, however, a few years wiser. I don't feel like celebrating, but I should mark the occasion none the less. I've never had a way with words, but I have an appreciation for those that do.
I'll let them do the talking tonight.
As for me I'll be hanging back with an old friend: DJ JD.
We go back a ways, and it's been a long while. Funny though that with some friends you can pick right back up as if not even a day has passed. We're going to be laying down a lot of tunes tonight, so try to keep up. I know all of you peg-legged bastards won't have any trouble. For those that don't feel me here's three words for you:
Fuck the RIAA.
I best get to it; the night isn't getting any younger, I'm certainly not getting any more sober, and my lungs won't be getting any lighter.
First up we have a song that I've always liked, but I've never really understood until tonight. Makes me think on how one can know someone for years but not really *know* them:
Bush - Come Down.
In a lot of ways this song relates to myself and in many others it doesn't. For what it's worth, here it is:
Frente - Bizzare Love Triangle.
This is song is close to me. It hasn't been so until recently:
Crowded House - Into Temptation.
I don't remember much from classes at high school. One quote from English lit does stand out:
"For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'It might have been! ..." ~John Greenleaf Whittier.
Some have wondered what drives me. Robert Smith said it best:
Cure, the - Spilt Milk.
I do well for myself. I have a house, a car, a steady job. I don't lack anything. Why is it then, that I only feel truly alive when I am hurt?
Nine Inch Nails - Hurt.
Often times I hear from people the things they want. Their ambitions, the things they most *desire*. Most people don't know the fucking meaning of the word:
Nine Inch Nails - Closer
In times like these I think back on the things I've done, the people I've met:
Beatles, the - In My Life.
I suppose this is where things get philosophical. Perhaps things are simpler than what they seem. I believe a big part of maturing is knowing what battles are worth fighting and when you should just:
Beatles, the - Let It Be.
A cowboy friend gave me some advise awhile back. I'm not sure if I simply didn't believe him or that I though I knew better. In the end I've learned that you shouldn't tempt fate; She's a real bitch.
Nickel Creek - Helena.
The sun is rising, so this must come to an end. This last song goes out to the love of my life; may she rest in peace:
Audio Slave - Like a Stone.
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12:34 am
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Pushing My Buttons
Had a blast at AC this year. It all seems a blur now (as cons often do), but there were a few things I remember clearly:
Got to room with two good friends, northwolf and haskiwolf. You guys were great roomies and were great to hang with.
Was amazed at how huge the convention center is! Very different feel from the usual con, natural lighting and space makes for a much less crowded fell.
Got to try out an amazing sushi place, it even had real wasabi! Most wasabi you get at sushi restaurants is actually colored horseradish. Real wasabi has a strong bite to it, but it fades away quickly.
Got to play a few games of chess with kysh. I wished I played a few more actually. It's very difficult to find a good live opponent it seems. The game is so much more enjoyable when you can discuss the match with your opponent.
Had lupinsmile over for drinks. Was originally thinking of throwing a room party, but as it turns out the room walls are very thin in the hotel. It worked out though, having a few friends over is a welcome change of pace from the hectic con.
Got two new buttons!
When I saw these I knew I had to have them... I mean, I just love both cats and chickens! Was disappointed that the dealer didn't have a "I Love Dogs" or a "I Love Foxes" button. I figure they must have sold out.
I was quite surprised on how many compliments I got on my chicken button. I would have thought that most people would notice the cat button more seeing as how they're more common. I suppose chickens must be more popular out there.
Speaking of which, people sure are friendly out in the east coast. I don't think I was allowed to pick up the tab even once at the bar. I've also never gotten so many offers for scritches at a con before. Last time I checked the count was 10 scritches, 4 back rubs, and 2 lap dances.
All in all, a great people and a great con. Looking forward to next year!
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07:59 pm
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Ashes and Snow
"Ever since my house burned down I see the moon more clearly."
Go here, click enhanced, then click explore. If you find your way back, post your thoughts.
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09:18 pm
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New Print
I really should post more often. This entry is pretty self-explanatory so I'll keep it simple:
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01:32 am
[Link] | If my blood was wine I'd be the greatest artist/writter in the world... At least in my own mind.
. o O (Isn't that where it matters the most?)
I've gained a greater appreciation for a certain "Chester Ringtail" tonight.
If anyone would care to join me in this toast: To free spirits, to love without boundaries, and in short... to everything that I am not. Cheers.
P.S. Advance apologies to Terrie Smith, Thornwolf, and anyone else that this post might possibly offend.
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10:45 pm
[Link] | I stayed in bed today,
did meaningless things to pass the time.
Tonight the rain chatters quietly,
it whispers of distant days...
of a love that was not meant to be
-and the night I last held it in my arms.
Tommorow I will meet the rising sun,
perhaps it will speak of another time.
of simpler days,
when I awoke with her by my side.
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10:33 pm
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We didn't start the fire.
Had a friend over this week. He stayed over my place while he got things ready to head back home. As it turns out he's a Wolf's Rain fan as well so I gave him some episodes to take home with him. Unfortunately his laptop wasn't able to play Divx files at a decent frame rate. This gave me a chance to use my DVD burner to make video DVDs. Trans-coding the episodes ended up being more work than I anticipated, but I'm pleased with the results: the quality is good and the whole series fit on two DVDs!
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10:24 pm
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Inspiring
Many wonder why I do not update my journal more often. I suppose this is because the art of writting is not something that comes easily to me. As such, I tend to write only when I find the inspiration to do so. Sadly, I find such inspiration in turmoil and discord.
As of late I have been content with life.
I have found that this is so for many of the artists I prize. Take Edgar Allan Poe. His poetry stirs something deep within me. His prose pours passion into my soul... it makes my blood boil. When I read his words I feel... ALIVE. Yet, from what I have read he lived a bleak existence.
Is it not tragic, yet strangely fitting, that such beauty should arise from sorrow?
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11:38 pm
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I came to get down.
FC was an absolute blast this year. Wasn't prepared to have that much fun. Me and my boy Timberwolf threw two parties. We split the room and the cost for booze. He served the drinks, I played the music... I have to hand it to him though: He provided the people and IMO that's what really made the parties great.
A year is entirely too long to wait for such good times.
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09:47 am
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Home
It's been awhile since I last updated my journal. Much has happened since then...
First, I found a new home for my LiveJournal: http://motw.xohost.com/LJ/. Second, I found a home for myself. I am the owner of a 3 bedroom, 2.5 bath, 1600 sq ft, .33 acre lot home. Finally, I have two "kids". I inherited two chow-dog creatures from my late stepmother. They remind me of large teddy bears, quite adorable.
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02:15 am
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Closer
I've been thinking about relationships.
Awhile ago I asked several friends about what they look for in a relationship and what their thoughts were on the subject. The reason for this is because I have never felt a need to be in an intimate relationship with a woman (I know what you're thinking... and no, I haven't felt a need to be intimate with a man either). So I asked them these things in hopes of getting a better understanding on why others seek this closeness with someone else.
Now, I figure most (men) would think "OMFG! In the name of all that is good and holy, how could you possibly go on for so long without getting laid?!" Could it be emotional trauma? A general apathy for mankind? Low hormone count? Honestly, I'm not sure. What I do know is that I am not: inconsolably shy, born deformed, afflicted with an unnatural affinity for Star Trek, still living with my mother, or an alien from outer space. While I am not entirely without experience, these things have never been constant in my life. This doesn't surprise me as I've learned that it is not difficult to avoid relationships if one seems uninterested in them. After all, for two persons to become close (intimately or otherwise) it takes efforts from both to make that happen.
While considering this I came across an interesting though: If God where a person, how well would I know Him? I would have to say "not any better than I would know any celebrity." I hear much talk about what others think about Him and how they interpret what He has done, but none of this gives me a better understanding of who He is. I figure for me to be closer to God it would take more effort on my part.
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12:54 am
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Eat, Drink, And Be Merry
Good drink, good food, and good friends. One could argue that these make life worth living.
I've had all three tonight.
I always felt that my heart betrays my mind.
I still believe that.
Tonight I listen to my heart; my mind will worry about tommorow.
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